Saving the Princess

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Apr 6 2008, 11:02

Got this from someone.

There is a beautiful princess trapped in
a castle guarded by a dragon. Here is
the end of the story with different kind
of metalheads as knights.

POWER METAL
The protagonist arrives riding a white
unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves
the princess and makes love to her in an
enchanted forest.

THRASH METAL
The protagonist arrives, fights the
dragon, saves the princess and f***s her.

HEAVY METAL
The protagonist arrives on a Harley,
kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and
f***s the princess.

FOLK METAL
The protagonist arrives with some
friends playing acordions, violins, flutes
and many more weird instruments, the
dragon falls asleep (because of all the
dancing). Then all leave... without the
princess.

VIKING METAL
The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills
the dragon with his mighty axe, skins
the dragon and eats it, rapes the
princess to death, steals her belongings
and burns the castle before leaving.

DEATH METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the
dragon, f***s the princess and kills
her, then leaves.

BLACK METAL
The protagonist arrives at midnight,
kills the dragon and impales it in front
of the castle. Then he sodomizes the
princess, drinks her blood in a ritual
before killing her. Then he impales the
princess next to the dragon.

GORE METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the
dragon and spreads his guts in front of
the castle, f***s the princess and kills
her.Then he f***s the dead body again,
slashes her belly and eats her guts.
Then he f***s the carcass for the third
time, burns the corpse and f***s it for
the last time.

GRIND METAL
The protagonist arrives, screams
something completely undecipherable for
about 2 minutes and then leaves...

DOOM METAL
The protagonist arrives, sees the size
of the dragon and thinks he could never
beat him, then he gets depressed and
commits suicide. The dragon eats his
body and the princess as dessert. That's
the end of the sad story.

GOTHIC METAL
The princess in a velvet costume starts
singing soprano. The protagonist
completes the duett by adding the beast
part, while the dragon plays the flute.
Suddenly he swallows up the pipe and
accidently scorches the beauty and the
beast and suffocates to death. All their
souls are damned in hell's eternity.

PROGRESSIVE METAL
The protagonist arrives with a guitar
and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The
dragon kills himself out of boredom. The
protagonist arrives to the princess'
bedroom, plays another solo with all the
techniques and tunes he learned in the
last year of the conservatory. The
princess escapes looking for the 'HEAVY
METAL' protagonist.

INDUSTRIAL METAL
The protagonist arrives wearing greasy
overcoat, makes obscene gestures towards
dragon, and gets escorted out of fairy
tale land by security guards.

SPEED METAL
Suddenly there, short solo, dragon is
confused, someones screaming weird
stuff, princess realizes she's been
deflowered, dragon and princess are
still looking for the one who did this.

CHRISTIAN METAL
The protagonist rides in on his way home
from church and sings a mushy power
ballad to the dragon about how much
Jesus loves him and that the dragon
should turn to Him. The Dragon is
immediately converted, and when the
princess wants to "thank" the
protagonist he replies, "sorry, but I
don't believe in having sex before
marriage."


GLAM METAL
The protagonist arrives, the dragon
laughs at the guy's appearance and lets
him enter. He steals the princess' make
up and tries to paint the castle in a
beautiful pink colour.


BATTLE METAL
The protagonist arrives with a legion of
a hundred brave footman, war chariots
and a dozen elite warriors and, as a
master tactician, flanks the dragon in a
bloody siege that lasts six hours. The
princess gets bored.

NU METAL
The protagonist arrives in a run down
Honda Civic and attempts to fight the
dragon but he burns to death when his
moronic baggy clothes catch fire.

EMO
The protagonist sees the dragon and
moans about how hard it will be to get
the princess to fall in love with him,
He gets eaten. The princess is very
happy, because he was a whiny *** anyway.

GRUNGE
The protagonist doesn't get eaten by the
dragon because he stinks too much from
not washing his hair in months. The
princess won't go near him either, and
he ends up dying on the town hall steps
with the other mosha's due to the over
consumption of white cider.

POP-PUNK
The dragon can't eat the protagonist
because he can't catch him because he
keeps bouncing up and down. The princess
won't f*ck him either, because he likes ska.

THE FAGGOTHIC
(you know what I mean, huh!) Gets to the
place all clothed up in black and his
face with some white powder on, talking
about how regarding must killing oneself
be while he cuts his veins, then sees
the dragon and thinks it's realy dark
and sinister so he hangs his dumb self
from a tree to show the dragon he's even
darker and gloomier. The dragon gets sad
and kills himself too.

THE DISCO FREAK
Offers the dragon some cocaine and
invites him to make a dance race. After
winning the competition and killing the
dragon by overconsuption of cocaine,
offers the princess to film a porn movie
playing cheerleader.

THE TECHNOELECTRONIC
Uses a loop goa trance to get the dragon
stuck down there on dancing, he doesn't
care for the princess and, since he's
gay, goes and does the glam star coz
he's gay too.

THE HIP HOP WHIGGER
(This one must be the most hated by
us... isn't he?) Gets there jiving and
talking in ebonics and "singing" "Snoop
Dogg" s*** and his ghettoness and stench
scares the dragon off. Meets the
princess and jumps her to steal her
goods to buy some weed and glue to sniff.

MISTER JPOP ANIME
Gets there all dressed up as a Sailor
Moon and tries to make up his lunar
prism power ability but it won't come
out and the dragons eats him for being a
dumbass scum.

BOY BAND DUDE
Gets there but the dragon tells him to
record an album coz he sings good, he
gets the hell out of the place and
records his s***ty stuff. He tells the
press he's a virgin, but later he kisses
Michael Jackson and later on he marries
Britney Spears's fan club president.

THE DEMOCRAT HIPPIE
Gets there f***ing the dragon around
about being an imperialist lizard and
that it's a black gold exploiter, throws
some molotov bombs at it and kills it.
The the pigs (police) get to the place
and get the s*** out of the hippie, they
arrest him and he refuses to save the
princess because she's part of the
oligarchy.

Commenti

  • 0k0k0k0

    patay ka sa mga oldtimer pag nilinkspam mo yan :D d

    Apr 6 2008, 14:46
  • bossponkan

    Pucha. Tagal na nito ah.

    Apr 7 2008, 14:33
  • spife1

    hade. choria. for old time's sake lang. d.

    Apr 7 2008, 14:48
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