Sabato 9 Lug 2011, 2:48

I was given a postcard for a concert in LA that notably had a Smiths cover band called Louder Than Bombs, which was part of some sort of summer extravaganza of live music and at least one DJ. I figured why not? It is only $7, I could bring a friend and make a night of it.

Boy-oh was I wrong. I did, in fact, bring a friend and for at least the first hour we were seemingly the _only_ people there to see and not perform in the show. And the venue? Nice, but roughly the size of a post card. The first band was called something like Alice D's Mooncake and they were pretty fun and dancey, so we got up and sort of boogied in an empty fucking space where literally nobody else had any interest in dancing. So THAT was awkward. Next up was a band called Sin Alley, which I imagined would sound something like Mad Sin or the Nekromantix…Nope. Definitely not. Lets be fair, the music was very fun sort of dark rockabilly, the vocals however? Totally different story. At first we all thought it was the weak mic that made the singer appear to be singing his hardest with the most concentrated sneer, but when switched to a better mic did he do any better? Oh no. He most certainly did not want to be heard, just to be seen looking like he wanted to be heard. And his side comments a foot+ away from the mic? Loud and clear as a bell. They should seriously ditch that guy and get a lead worthy of the band. Then the main attraction, the hopefully before unseen Louder Than Bombs were coming up to save the night from an awkward, motionless club. Out they came to set up aaaaand… fuck! These were the crap band from last year! I recognized that big guy, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt because surely he would be a better performer now that he wasn't Still Ill, right? Wrong. On a side note, I am certain Julian Casablancas was playing bass with the band– probably the best part of the night. I LOLed.

I have minimal expectations for Smiths cover bands, they must A) Know the music and play it, B) know the lyrics and sing them correctly and C) not stand entirely still onstage. Really, there should be something to look at even if the stage is small. They certainly achieved point A well enough, even if How Soon is Now ended up being a 60 second long song comprised entirely of the chorus two times. As soon as they came on we rushed out and sang and danced every song away, even as point B and C were certainly not achieved. We left as soon as they went off stage and I feel all the wiser. I will never, EVER go see them again. And neither should you, skip them and go see Alice D's Mooncake instead, at least they have the performance mentality to move… ever.