Mag 23 2009, 8:21
Hopefully I'm getting over certain things being hard work (like writing a blog) and will be able to do these things more regularly. In the process become more expressive. It is kind of like being in school in that while I was in school it made me more of a learner and doer (as redundant as that sounds). I mean that I could do more outside of school life, too, so hopefully I will do more in my outside, too. That is my major insecurity is that I don't do enough. I'm sure that is a big factor in a lot of people's lives but for me it seems to have been on autopilot that way of thinking and I want to shake it off. Little by little.
Writing means different things to people and I like to express my opinion with some of my writing but I am never a hateful person so it is really difficult for me to write about something in the negative unless an action or what they say provokes that. When it comes to music, I'm much more open to sounds and even the overly commercial. I used to give my sister a hard time for loving Jewel so damn much but I guess girls like her need someone like jewel to give them some comfort. So in that way, I am less a jerk about that kind of taste. I'm trying to understand my brother, too, but I think his music is mostly influenced by the music he listens to while stoned. That is unfortunate but I must admit that I got into some music the same way (Pink Floyd). I will never give into the indulgence that is Phish, though, and he is a huge fan. Not that they are bad but i can't get into that flow.
As I said earlier, I have been sick but I am feeling a little better. I need to learn to limit myself on the computer, though, and I hope I can break the bad habit of doing searches and getting tons more of information about everything. Internet really fulfills the ADD I have in finding new and cool things but it is bad at limiting the other things I could be doing that would be more productive, like exercise. In time...At least I'm becoming more aware of it.