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Way past bedtime + unhealthy number of Paramore listens = this list.

It's 2.30 am. I'm bored out of my tiny mind. How shall I occupy myself? Eureka! Copy that old journal I saw a while back which ranked every Paramore song. Only because I don't have every Paramore song, and Limewire has typified itself and broken on me, it'll just be the ones I know. So, in ascending order from worst to best. Enjoy. Or bore yourself. Or flame me in disgust. Your choice.

Oh Star - The way she says, "Oh, star" really grinds my fucking axe. And it just goes downhill from there, really.

When It Rains, My Heart, Here We Go Again - serious yawn. I can't even be bothered to write about them other than to say that yes, I am annoyed by the screaming in My Heart, but even if it wasn't there it would still be a song plagued terminally by tedium and turgidity. Here We Go Again is better musically than the other two but it's still far too thin on anything resembling something memorable like a hook - ANYTHING - to be any good.

That's What You Get - what I hate about this is that it starts off on an enormous, self-assured and expansive note - it makes you think it's going to be brilliant, but like a lot of subpar Paramore songs squanders all the good work with the chorus, which is a sludgy, hollow anticlimax filled with emotionally retarded "whoooooaahhhh"s (I say emotionally retarded because in, say, Conspiracy, where "whooooaaaahhh"s are used as equally obvious filler but actually work, here, the "whoooooahhhh" is just filler sung in a half-arsed "let's-make-a-random-sound-cause-I've-forgotten-the-words" kind of way. so I guess it's just generally retarded, then). The single worst Paramore chorus.

Fences - you'd think from my plays that I'd rate this higher, but it really only has that many by accident. It's not bad, don't get me wrong, but it's not good either. It's lacking something. You know, it's all very well, the swing beat is different, it's sung with a lot of sincerity, but for a song so unlike the rest of their repertoire there's something unoriginal and, well, crap about it.

Franklin - I listened to this a few more times then I'd expect for a song I don't really like. It's mainly her voice that grates here (other than the retardedly uneventful chorus). The way she says, "I miss whoooowwwweeee were". So fucking whiny. Surely unnecessary. You've got a voice, open your fucking mouth and sing properly you annoying whore. Ahem. (Seriously though, I adore Hayley as if she was an effortlessly superior and yet shamefully likeable classmate. A little envy is inevitable.)

Pressure - opens catchily, but then sort of warps into one of the worst verses I've ever heard from this band. It jumps gear again into a rather better chorus ("pressu-u-ure" = awesome), but by then the damage is done. The way the verse is played I suppose is meant to make it sound edgy and rocky but instead it's just annoying and detracts from the vocal line, which sucks anyway. A lot of the rest of the song is OK though. I might end up rating it higher one day if I can get past that verse.

We Are Broken - It's a fairly serviceable ballad, I suppose. The piano gives it a nice atmosphere, the words aren't overly hideous and it's quite enjoyable to listen to. But it's nothing special.

Miracle - You really have to wait til the bridge / end to get the best of this song, but the build up is excellently done and worth it. First song of the list I would call genuinely "good" and not just mediocre or awful.

Born For This - I hated this at first. I hated the barely tolerable, horn-like whine of the guitar line in the intro. I hated the meaningless bombast of the call-and-response back-up shouts, the unreleting, unceasing cliche of the performance anthem that this entire four minutes consists of. "Everybody sing, like it's the last song you will ever sing"? Not exactly wildly original is it? "We were born for this!" Of course, of course you were, I'd think. But now I kinda like this little ditty, especially the way Hayley says, "Okay." Cute.

crushcrushcrush - Well, it is pretty sexy.

Whoa - Even if the rest of the song was the worst thing ever (it's not), the opening 20 seconds would carry it here by dint of their being so irrepressibly… Irrepressible. The song Born For This tried and failed to be.

Stop This Song (Lovesick Melody) - Come on, every girl can relate to it; I personally am proud to say that I have spent many wistful hours projecting myself on to the lyrical Mary-Sue that Stop This Song constitutes. I can see why it's a b-side; it doesn't really have anything particularly noteworthy or different about it, but for what it is, which is basically a simple, sprightly pop-punk-by-numbers tune, it's an incredibly damn good one.

Decode - In a way, this song really is rather too polished. But it works. Every part of it is powerful, from the heavier-than-usual percussion to the vocal (the height of which is, however, sustained for too long - it could do with more of a respite). Having not been tainted by Twilight hysteria myself I can't say that it's ruined the song for me, nor do I associate it unavoidably with this "Bella" and "Edward Cullen" of whom I have heard so much. Not as good as it's made out to be, though.

Emergency - Emergency is a perfect distillation of everything about All We Know Is Falling that's superior to RIOT!. The latter has as many duds as the former, but the former has more real, raw emotion than RIOT! ever manages. Emergency is urgent (as, considering the title, it should be) and ardent. Has a more melancholy bent than its closest friend (All We Know) but by the final, "Aliiiiii" there's a real sense of nobility and struggle about it. No matter how doomed.

Brighter, Temporary - I've always seen Brighter and Temporary as a sort of couple. I used to get them a little mixed up. But, even though they're pretty similar (high chorus, quiet verses) they are both great tracks each in their own right. The harmonies of, "It's all a game, I know we'll stay the same…". The tumultous emotion of Brighter's climax: "I'll wave goodbye, watching you shine bright!" Argh. Too good. Too, too good.

For A Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic - The beginning reminds me of That's What You Get, only many magnitudes better. In fact, this song is many magnitudes bigger, bolder and, well, more awesome in the specific way the grand canyon or the aurorae borealis are awesome (rather than in the general way ginger nut biscuits and your grandma are awesome) than pretty much any of their others. This is how "pop-punk", "pop-rock", whatever, should be. Seriously.

Let The Flames Begin - I've got no fucking clue what this song is meant to be about. Standing up to something, no doubt; not giving up in the face of… Something, no doubt. But frankly, who cares what it's about? It's all in the atmosphere. The moody lead guitar line. The equally moody lead vocal line. The moody bridge breakdown. And so on. The chorus presents a very-nearly-explosive outlet for some of this abundant moodiness, but the song fades asuspensefully as it began, without having resolved any of that latent (sexual, obviously) tension that's tangible throughout. I wouldn't have it any other way, either.

Never Let This Go - This song is actually pretty straightforward, huh? The stand-out thing about it is Hayley's performance, which sorta lifts the song out of itself and into the passionate and driving rock song that it basically is. Not that the rest of the band do nothing for that, but I really think this is one of the songs that she makes. And yes, I tagged it wrong.

Hallelujah - Upbeat, confident, great vocal. I love how tight the guitars and drums are, and the lead guitar line (and the drums) in the second half of the verse. God, I just love so much about this. It makes me, a hardened atheist, sing "Hallelujah" as if I really believed some God out there was listening. Rather too much? I don't think so. Does exactly what it says on the tin, and does it while strutting past everyone who ever called it a name and giving them the finger. Yeah.

Misery Business - It must be said: fucking brilliant title (people who refer to it as Miz Biz need to be shot or something). Everything about Misery Business is exquisitely well-formed, tightly spun, catchy, dangerous, exciting, triumphant perfection. It's three-and-a-half minutes long. It goes verse-chorus-verse-chorus-bridge-solo-chorus. It is absolutely and unashamedly a flawless pop song. And also very sexy.

All We Know - This kind of reminds me of Never Let This Go for no good reason, but angrier, harsher, more fervent, and not about love (translation: better). It goes at breathless speed, and the short respite for the bridge collapses into one of their fieriest moments ("THIS ISN'T WHAT YOU WANTED!"), before one of those wonderfully rare guitar solos that actually evokes an emotion, and a final, crashing, blazing chorus. Yes.

Conspiracy - It's always seemed to me one of Paramore's simplest songs, even though made up of some of their more complex parts (like the beautifully intricate guitar and drum line in the intro which is my undisputed favourite ever Paramore opening), but for it one of the most affecting. The lyrics are pure, frank, perceptive and sung with depth and warmth, and the drum performance (drums, with this band, are never, ever shit) outdoes any other - sophisticated and interesting without being overpowering. Conspiracy is the benchmark and model for any Paramore song of this kind. Leaves My Heart, We Are Broken, etc utterly in the dust.

I Caught Myself - Unfairly ignored as a sideshow to the vastly inferior Decode, the first three-or-so minutes are often equally unfairly summarily dismissed by some people for not being "rock" enough: "this song doesn't get good until the end", etc. But the entire reason that that ending is good is because the song as a whole is a low-key, understated, tension-building exercise, layering arpeggios over what is for its simplicity an oddly brilliant bassline; the chorus vocal is barely restrained against its backdrop, fighting to let rip. Words are bitten off ("Now when I CAUGHT myself…", "You're pushin'-and-PULLIN'-me-DOWN…", for want of a better way of illustration), the snare rolls impatiently. And when the shit finally hits the fan, everything just fucking works. The admission comes at exactly the right time ("I knew, I know in my heart it's not you"), in an outburst of sound and emotion that may end abruptly, but definitely ends right. It's as if they'd been holding that secret in for the whole song, and let it out into a stunned silence, leaving you to work out what to do next. Pretty magnificent.

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