• Teach yourself Scouse Part One

    Mag 14 2012, 18:29

    Apologies for the Toilet Humour:

    apple tart, to: to fart

    Arabian Night: shite

    blowing them out the back again: infant farts

    bog: toilet

    Bombay Crud: diarrhea

    botty burp: fart

    cack: shite

    carnival ribbons: toilet paper

    carzy: toilet

    cascara: a strong laxative

    caught short, to be: to be in need of a toilet

    chamber music: sounds of urination

    clean ther pan: men tidying things up with their stream of urine

    crapper or crappus: privy

    down the yard place, the: outside loo or privy

    drane me taters: urinate

    dubs: toilet

    dynamite: laxative

    Eartha Kitt: shit

    egg-bound: constipated

    feelin' ther strain: constipated

    gezzunder: chamber pot

    glory hole: (sometimes) the toilet

    gong: chamber pot

    (h)avin a berst: urinating

    (h)ammer-rods: piles

    hiss in the mist, to go for a: go to urinate

    hit and miss: urination, with all its risks

    Jeff: urination

    jimmy riddle, to have a: urinate

    jirry or jerry: chamber pot

    jollop: liquid laxative

    lag, to: urinate

    leave it open, wack: plea on a pay toilet wall

    ockey: excrement

    on the bucket, to be: to be in the toilet

    petty pirate: privy attendant

    petty: privy

    petty-poet: privy grafittist

    piddle pot: chamber pot

    pony and trap: crap

    poop pusher: laxative

    potty chair: infant's potty

    privet leaves: toilet paper

    pull the chain, to go and: to go to the toilet

    pull the lanyard, to: to fart

    quarry: open toilet pit

    rip: fart

    road through, haven't had a: constipated

    ruck: excrement

    runs: diarrhea

    shake hands with the wife's best friend: urinate

    shittus: privy

    shootin gallery: privy

    slash: urinate

    squatter: commode

    thinking room: privy

    thunder mug: chamber pot

    tishy paper: privy paper

    totty-pot: child's chamber pot

    wheshittus: where's the rest room

    wind instruments: beans, etc.

    woof: fart
  • Guide to English Slang (Part 1)

    Mag 13 2012, 23:27

    Ace - If something is ace it is awesome. I used to hear it a lot in Liverpool. Kids thought all cool stuff was ace, or brill.
    Aggro - Short for aggravation, it's the sort of thing you might expect at a football match. In other words - trouble! There is sometimes aggro in the cities after the pubs shut!

    All right? - This is used a lot around London and the south to mean, "Hello, how are you"? You would say it to a complete stranger or someone you knew. The normal response would be for them to say "All right"? back to you. It is said as a question. Sometimes it might get expanded to "all right mate"? Mostly used by blue collar workers but also common among younger people.

    Anti-clockwise - The first time I said that something had gone anti-clockwise to someone in Texas I got this very funny look. It simply means counter-clockwise but must sound really strange to you chaps! I think he thought I had something against clocks!

    Any road - Up north (where they talk funny!!) instead of saying anyway, they say "any road"! Weird huh?

    Arse - This is a word that doesn't seem to exist in America. It basically means the same as ass, but is much ruder. It is used in phrases like "pain in the arse" (a nuisance) or I "can't be arsed" (I can't be bothered) or you might hear something was "a half arsed attempt" meaning that it was not done properly.

    Arse about face - This means you are doing something back to front.

    Arse over elbow - This is another way of saying head over heels but is a little more descriptive. Usually happens after 11pm on a Saturday night and too many lagers! Some Americans say ass over teakettle apparently!

    Arse over tit - Another version of arse over elbow, but a bit more graphic!

    Arsehole - Asshole to you. Not a nice word in either language.

    Arseholed - Drunk! Usually in the advanced stages of drunken stupor, someone would be considered "completely arseholed". Never me, of course!

    As well - You chaps say also when we would say "too" or "as well". For instance if my friend ordered a Miller Lite, I would say "I'll have one as well". I often heard people saying something like "I'll have one also". You'd be more likely to hear someone in England ordering a pint of lager!

    Ass - Your backside, but mostly a donkey!

    Au fait - Another one of those French expressions that have slipped into the English language. This one means to be familiar with something. I'd say at the end of reading all this you'd be au fait with the differences between American and English!
  • British Accents

    Mag 13 2012, 23:22


    The United Kingdom is probably the most dialect-obsessed nation in the world. With countless British accents shaped by thousands of years of history, there are few English-speaking nations with as many varieties of language in such a small space.
  • Worst 'British' Accents

    Mag 13 2012, 23:16

    Attempting to compile cinema's worst British accents, and then whittling the list down to just thirteen, was a difficult and painful task. Those who didn't make it on the list but deserve special mention include Demi Moore in Flawless and Joaquin Phoenix in Gladiator (because those Romans did love clipped accents). But in their defence, we Brits don't make it easy: plenty of Londoners can't do a convincing Cockney, so perhaps poor, Yankee Dick Van Dyke deserves our sympathies. Anyway, here are the top ten most excrutiating attempts at a "British" accent ever on film...http://www.empireonline.com/features/worst-british-movie-accents/