Metal vs. Anime


Feb 3 2010, 5:44

Not a lot of time to spend on this one but metal is a lot like anime: fandoms of young people are infatuated with something low-quality, formulaic and in bad taste, all the while convinced that it's the deepest, most meaningful shit ever and superior to any "mainstream" forms. Just as the intended audience of anime is Japanese 12 year olds, so too does metal appeal to the 12 year old in the driver's seat of every metal-loving manchild's cumbersome frame. Anime fans brag endlessly about how a lot of anime is "mature" in content, but the reality is that the only thing setting apart "mature" anime from the childish pap that is regular anime are cartoon boobs and geysers of blood (instead of, say, a thought-provoking message). Metal fans suffer from a similar delusion, thinking that pentagrams, inverted crosses, lyrics about how much you hate Christ, album art of gory nun porn, blastbeats, screeching and an overall angsty, disgruntled sound are the hallmark of maturity. They're not, you goddamn fucking idiots.

Metal fans see something like this and instead of laughable find it relatable, maybe because it looks like something a middle-schooler would make and metal fans are either mentally or chronologically still 13. They see some band dressing up with plastic horned helmets, some douchebag in a cape posing with a mace that looks more like a dildo or album art of an imagined viking hacking down a cross and actually think (if that word is even applicable) "wow, what a deep and powerful message these guys have!" instead of being repulsed by the boorishness and idiocy behind each of those things. Metal fans seem oblivious or perhaps just accepting of the fact that Metal is cheap, shallow, kitsch, artless garbage and generally in bad taste. I'm sure the thought processes that go on in the minds of 13 year olds who are obsessed with Naruto are the same as in those who actually think Burzum is good, and I hope that in my life I'll never relate to either.

In the defense of anime at least it has some eye candy sequences that might impress you visually with the quality of the animation, while in metal, even the shreddiest of shred metal is boring and uninspiring. All the "thinking man's metal" bands (and there are a lot of them, keeping in mind that one camp's "intellectual" metal is the bane of another when ironically they both suck) are meaningless and lacking in depth, delivering exactly the transparent attempt at "smart ppl music" that you might expect from a metalhead. Whether you listen to Dream Theater, Fates Warning, Agalloch, Opeth, Enslaved, Burzum and other bedroom black metal shit or Gorguts and Morbid Angel, it all sounds like an intellectually limited attempt at trying to mold a pile of shit into something more than it is (in the case of the black metal, not even getting past the pile of shit phase). That's not to say that each of those bands is equally bad; Dream Theater are easily the best of that bunch and have some good moments, but they're entire orders of magnitude below Gentle Giant, Gryphon and what might be described as good music.

But I digress; I could go on about the how both metal and anime are redundant as fuck but whatever, I've spent enough time writing about worthless childrens' pastimes. Instead I'll leave you with a site that showcases human idiocy at its greatest, providing a display even more pathetic than anything you might see at an anime convention. Enjoy.


  • Alasin

    nice trolling thaar

    Feb 3 2010, 16:02
  • FirestarterMKD


    Feb 3 2010, 21:10
  • freelance-fiend

    Trolling or not, this is powerful truth. Apparently worshiping Nietzsche & Satan makes you a genius to the last fm community. Metalheads have no taste in ANYTHING (AT ALL) and then their life mission becomes trolling our shoutboxes doing everything in their "power" to convince the lot of us that WE'RE the ones who have no taste because we listen to beautiful music instead of "technical" wankery.

    Feb 3 2010, 23:53
  • i-am-venom

    I agree with you here Nathan. I can relate to what you are saying indefinatly. Is there really a mature type of music? I think not. Satansim is also... quite pathetic, and is one of the religions i never cared to humour. The youth of todays society is strange, all they want is acceptance, they probably listen to metal to make them look cool in front their friends (i dont have many friends *lol* so i dont need to look cool) they should really just listen to the music cause they like the sound of it.. not because of what is on the album cover. @destrukornaut... join in the disussion... fag, what is the point in trying to troll a prefectly valid arguement.

    Feb 4 2010, 13:27
  • NegruVoda

    Agreed, but my name isn't Nathan.

    Feb 4 2010, 13:35
  • i-am-venom

    damn i thought you were Vual for a second.... excuse that .... sorry

    Feb 4 2010, 13:39
  • Sassu_Wunnu

    All the music I like is beautiful, and all the music I don't like is terrible shit. The music I like is beautiful because it catchy, and what is catchy is defined in absolute on a stone in the universe that has the recipe for everything right. This is not a pretentious statement, and I do not bother making this statement because I actually think my worth is derived from placing people into categories of "likes my music" and "doesn't like music (lol fags!)". All of this will be of great importance, and will be talked about endlessly in the history books of tomorrow.

    Feb 4 2010, 22:12
  • freelance-fiend

    Catchy music is innately accessible to everyone, therefore it's not pretentious. Pretending to be part of an exclusive kvlt ov trve mvsichinz and looking down on the "consumers of catchy" is pretty exclusive and pretentious.

    Feb 5 2010, 18:43
  • Sassu_Wunnu

    @destruktornaut: Your reply was big pile of confusing garble. Please clarify.

    Feb 5 2010, 19:52
  • i-am-venom

    no dont clarify.... fuck off destruktornaut, your just trying to cause an arguement

    Feb 5 2010, 20:17
  • LordRama

    Metal is for jews and homos, listen to real music like Merzbow

    Feb 5 2010, 21:09
  • freelance-fiend

    "The article purports to admonish those for listening to metal by presenting tenuously constructed causal relationships based upon subjective proofs when it's really just a platform for the author to bitch about black metal" **HEAD EXPLODES**. What's so wrong with Gentle Giant? They're alright...never listened to Dream Theater

    Feb 5 2010, 22:30
  • whambamtymam

    You look so sophisticated when you make sweeping generalizations about subjects you are obviously an expert on.

    Feb 6 2010, 1:35
  • LSDawson

    @ LordRama: I wouldn't even consider Merzbow to be music tbh.

    Feb 6 2010, 4:29
  • rayzyn


    Feb 9 2010, 6:22
  • Kyoutarou

    like u

    Feb 10 2010, 6:27
  • BFD31095

    I don't like to directly offend people, but NegruVoda is a faggot. Although I do agree that anime sucks, but he is still a faggot.

    Feb 11 2010, 0:50
  • soaloof

    misto poveste frate

    Feb 11 2010, 12:49
  • Frenchcon1

    anime lol

    Feb 11 2010, 15:58
  • slackashi

    I assumed NegruVoda would like Tyr

    Feb 11 2010, 19:15
  • Sir_OsaX

    Nice try, but in the all this journal is meaningless. Try harder.

    Feb 11 2010, 22:33
  • cep_bojowy

    Cool story, bro.

    Feb 13 2010, 13:35
  • Rizzo00

    Gawd, what the fuck?! NegroVoda, ur a faggot. Seriously, who CARES what the album art looks like?! Oh and, this site is SHIT.

    Feb 13 2010, 14:26
  • cheeses

    I didn't make it past the second sentence, but -- note the charts: melodeath and power metal. just sayin'

    Feb 14 2010, 7:23
  • NegruVoda

    That's because they're choosing the next step up in shlocky entertainment - stuff that's higher up the food chain than Morbid Angel and Ildjarn. Funnily enough when I opened it I got this in connected artists.

    Feb 14 2010, 23:44
Visualizza tutti (38 commenti)
Aggiungi un commento. Accedi a o registrati (è gratuito).