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Your command is my wish.

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Theme: arriving at totalitarianism/third-world-status through ineptitude, laziness and stupidity.

Visit us to learn more:

AMERIKA

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Things to do for 9/11:

* Take flying lessons, and learn to take off, but not land.
* Translate the Koran into Klingon.
* Calculate the amount of blood left on your sheets by 77 virgins.
* Draw up a new design for "Freedom Tower."
* Learn Arabic.
* Practice making IEDs in the garage.
* Monitor your own phone calls and emails for dangerous keywords.
* Scream "Allahu Ackbar!" at Republicans.
* Leave your ID in a Florida strip club.
* Tell people you'll only leave the house when the threat level is back to "Blue."
* Elect…

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There's a worse death than death itself. If nothing mattered, if nothing changed, if no possible action resulted in hope – well, that's the sort of world we'd have if we banned death, natural selection, sadism, evil and darkness.

Sadistic Metal Reviews 9-11-09

So hail the darkness, which clears away the dead light! This week, we've got a bumper crop of FAIL and some surprising winners amongst the dead wood in our Sadistic Metal Reviews, featuring:

Suffocation
Cock Sparrer
Bahimiron
Stinking Lizaveta
Asphyx
Ninth Kingdom
Death
Katharsis
Red Fang
Karnarium
Conjuration
Inveracity
Mordicus
Himinbjorg
Electrocution
The Warlocks
Chord
Anael…

I've been on a Lord Wind binge lately. If you're not familiar with this ex-Graveland project, it's martial ambient – synthpop made to resemble the medievalist, militaristic movie soundtracks which emphasize honor, combat, pride and elegance.

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In addition to being excellent music, the two CDs I like best – Heralds of Fight and Atlantean Monument – are mesmerizing, repetitive but internally varied, powerful journeys into the subconscious.

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Further, I like these CDs because they piss all over the modern time. The foundation of modernity is liberalism, or throwing away the caste system and rule of kings for…

Whether bureaucratic control, as authoritarians want, or social control, as anarchists want, control itself is more problematic than the invisible third option: consensus and shared values, a/k/a "culture" and "sacralization" of all life.

The fallacy of control

Found this group today:

http://www.last.fm/group/Openminded+Metalheads

Their blurb says: "Do you like metal? Power? Thrash? Death? Black? Progressive? Do you like other genres of music too? Are Slayer, Iron Maiden, and Opeth in your top 50 along with The Beatles? Radiohead? Why can't…"

Here's their weekly top artists:

Metallica
Opeth
Iron Maiden
In Flames
Megadeth
Slayer
Dream Theater
Black Sabbath
Nightwish
Children of Bodom

For the most part, these bands are very rock-like metal bands, or even rock/metal hybrids (Dream Theater, Opeth, Black Sabbath).

Why is it that "open minded" rarely means what…

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When we let rip with our "Metal FAILs – Volume I," people were pissed – mainly because we didn't include their favorite fails. So in the grand tradition of whoring ourselves for populist acclaim, and thus perhaps thousands of grubby fingers clicking on the same links, we've brought you the sequel: "More Metal FAILs" or "Son of Metal FAIL," depending on what you want to call it.

Son of Metal FAIL

Did you ever get that sneaking suspicion that some metalheads are "faking it"?

Sure, they have bought all the right things. They have the posters on the walls, the tshirts, the CDs and rare vinyl and maybe even some classic demos.

But they're faking it and you can tell because they don't understand metal as being different from rock music, indie, emo, punk – you name it!

They've picked metal as an identity, because they need some cause in order to claim their lives have meaning, but they don't seem to understand it at all.

It's like they're spectators at…

"What do all these complicated words mean? I don't see why you think you're better than us."