I do not have a gentle heart, 25, Femmina, FranciaUltimo accesso: Gennaio 2014

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  • Cimersies

    | Fucking amazing taste | Greetings !

    16 Feb 2013 Rispondi

    nice music list ^^

    11 Dic 2012 Rispondi
  • Remorhaz

    And also, one particular thought has been crossing my mind of late: There is no shame in poverty, but there can be in wealth. With respect to this idea, I do not mind poverty so much. It is still some kind of luxurious poverty, although I have been selling more and more of my stuff, because I still have my PC and laptop and car, though I have little to no money for gasoline. I still cling to those few things I feel I really need and want (maybe the car symbolises freedom? I dunno..), but just surviving in this expensive society is hard on your purse - and on your mind. Perhaps there is some simple happiness to be found in ('luxurious') Western poverty - I am interested to find out if someday I feel a spark of happiness in the simple life that I lead now. I still don't dare hope, though. Hope hurts too much, especially when dashed. I do hope you will find some measure of happiness. Hoping for others is much less painful.

    31 Ott 2012 Rispondi
  • Remorhaz

    Oh jeez. Your last shout was seriously from 18 Sept. It got pushed down in my list of e-mails (or, in this case, shouts) yet to reply to, and I completely forgot about it. Sorry! Sure, you can't truly know happiness when you've never been unhappy, and that sort of thing, which is true for many opposites. But more important, I think, is the topic you raised about our Western society and upbringing. If you've been so spoilt in your youth, and been kept from just about any kind of serious harm, how can you ever be truly happy as an adult? I guess there are certain people who can, e.g. out of a lack of intelligence or an inborn enthusiasm (those people exist!), but I can hardly imagine it. I think that if there is happiness, it does indeed lie in the simple things you spoke of. I myself am doing worse and worse financially, and though it is tough, I feel that you can more easily enjoy simple things in poverty than in wealth. [to be continued in next shout]

    31 Ott 2012 Rispondi
  • Remorhaz

    Do you think it is possible to ever feel better? I have been depressed most of my life, interspersed with brief spells of joy I occasionally mistook for happiness. Maybe it is just that when you lose your innocence you can never get it back, and therefore never get your joy back, except in brief moments. And does happiness even exist? Or is it just the lack of experience, knowledge and awareness that brings contentment? Not to be a killjoy... I am just actively wondering about this... I understand your wish to get rid of your depressive thoughts and feelings, but maybe it is our lot to always be depressed... I don't know. To me it doesn't feel like I can ever become happy again. It seems so far removed from me that happiness seems part of a different world.

    29 Ago 2012 Rispondi
  • Remorhaz

    Good to hear from you again :). It's odd to hear you say you're depressed. Your profile doesn't suggest this at all, e.g. "Say hello to..." But you say that listening to depressive music makes you feel more depressed, whereas it soothes me when I feel depressed, and makes me feel a bit better. Understood, even. If it works the other way around with you, I can understand why your profile doesn't suggest you are depressed. What is the main thing in life that depresses you?

    26 Ago 2012 Rispondi
  • Remorhaz

    I haven't heard from you in a while. Is everything alright?

    22 Ago 2012 Rispondi
  • Remorhaz

    Sorry for my late reply. Sometimes the smallest thing can seem the largest obstacle. Sometimes you feel the will to do something burning a hole in you but you just can't seem to move and do it. Why had you never expected I would give you any time and kindness? Because before you contacted me you had read my quotes and it seemed like I hated everything and everyone and I wouldn't even reply? Well, maybe I am almost as surprised as you were. I don't know. I have too many bands lined up for me to listen to as is, but I played a song by Elend and found it quite peaceful, not actually depressing, really. Rather, I think it might not be 'dark' enough to my tastes :P.

    3 Ago 2012 Rispondi
  • Remorhaz

    Well, I'm not too surprised my suggestions weren't what you were looking for. Perhaps there is something in my charts you will like. If you really want to find some new music (genres) to like, you will find it eventually. I myself have too much music to listen to as it is, with many more bands within the genres I like best to discover, even! Which is why I'm not looking to broaden my musical tastes right now. But a year ago I was, and I ended up with this. My stories and poetry are fairly recent - of this year. I think my writings have become recognisable as my own, but I'm still continuing my search for my own style, to eventually feel perfectly comfortable with it. In my story story collection you will see the style vary a bit, as I was searching for my own style a bit more then, still.

    26 Lug 2012 Rispondi
  • Remorhaz

    I see you already tried Forteresse before my shout :P.

    26 Lug 2012 Rispondi
  • Remorhaz

    Ahh, a fellow student of English. The best language, IMO. Thanks you for your compliment; it has taken me my entire life to get to this point, and one of the very few things I still strive for - on my better days - is to become a better writer. Practice makes perfect. I would like to recommend you some good black, but I'm still not sure what to recommend. These past few months I have been listening a lot to Forteresse, and some other Métal Noir Québécois. Perhaps you'd like this - you'd probably know after one song. I like this one. You could give it a shot if you feel like it. I am pretty strict where it comes to my musical tastes. I mean no offense, but I know up front I will not like any hardcore or industrial. They do not suit me. Sorry.

    26 Lug 2012 Rispondi
  • Remorhaz

    Oh, it's not my aim to be well-known or anything, though having a few interested parties can't hurt. I mainly write it all for myself, but I appreciate a response every now and again. I don't really listen to pagan metal myself anymore, though I number quite a few, as I used to listen to that kind of music a lot, as seen in my overall charts. My taste in music changed about a year ago. Now I mainly listen to atmospheric/depressive black metal and some dark ambient stuff. I don't know what to recommend... But you could always just listen to a few songs from my higher-ranked artists and see what you like :). By the way, your English is very good :).

    25 Lug 2012 Rispondi
  • Remorhaz

    You only get 1000 characters a shout so I have to split it in two ;). Let me just add a thank you for expressing any interest in me - as far as I know not too many people read my blog, so I appreciate any sincere interest :). Do you have one yourself, by any chance?

    25 Lug 2012 Rispondi
  • Remorhaz

    I realise now I had never before told anyone "thanks for shouting" in real life :D. I find most of my blog outdated (everything over a year ago was written by a previous me, not the current me), but you will find plenty to read here, and there's also more poetry and a novel, if you're interested. If you want to listen to some metal again, I of course have numerous bands to recommend ;), but if you want to start (over) with something not too loud and fast-faced, you could start with Mealann, which is dark ambient and not black metal, but I enjoy it. If you want black metal, click any of my top bands from the past 12 months ;). But if you want I can also make personal recommendations - it's just that I have no clue what you would like :P. But if you like soundtracks, dark ambient might not be too big a step :).

    25 Lug 2012 Rispondi
  • Remorhaz

    Thanks for shouting. First off, in spite of myself I find it pretty funny that you would call me an (ostensibly) nice person, since I have many quotes up for the hatred of mankind. I guess friends would call me nice, but I am not very nice to many people (strangers) because I just want them to leave me alone or die, even though they haven't personally wronged me. You seem like a nice, intelligent person though, so I have no intention of not being nice to you. You're not a person I would normally have in my friends list (since you don't listen to the same kind of music! :P) but I'll add you and perhaps we'll have some interesting conversations. Finally, I must say I cannot imagine ever discontinuing to listen to metal :P. Your advice seems fine, but I can't manage it when I feel down, which is most of the time. Then I just want to be left alone, and nice smiles don't even cross my mind. I have replied to your comments on my blog too. I don't know if you get an alert for that.

    25 Lug 2012 Rispondi
  • skinnydrifter

    thanks for the add :) very good music here

    4 Dic 2010 Rispondi
  • Lobsterboy

    nice music taste!

    13 Set 2010 Rispondi
  • sebgob

    Votre taux de compatibilité musicale avec Abcynthe est : Élevé OUH YEAH !

    5 Mag 2008 Rispondi


Electrohead, rivethead, and a bit of everything else. I like any kind of dark, complex, weird, distorted music.


I scrobble, therefore I am ?


I am trying to paint a musical memory, to recreate a subjective ambiance with an ensemble of pieces from the future and the past. All these pieces listened together take a new meaning. They suggest an intricate emotion, one that cannot be described in one word in my language. It is...a nature morte, it is a glimpse of the world of the dead, it is a longing for something unknown, invisible. I can only see it in flashbacks : a walk in the woods alongside an old train track; a murder of crows flying through the broken windows of an abandoned factory; a burnt, brown, dirty desert, the likes of which I have only seen in the imaginations of Jodorowsky, Mœbius, and Frank Herbert; at a crossroads in a dusty, grey, tired, post-war german city; a white, hot, salty, death valley; a red brick bridge, darkly lit, in the city of love and magic; a traveller cradled by the humming of the engines; the ruins of a moss-covered stone temple; a once-great metropolis of steel, piercing the sky amid the jungle; there is a golden nutmeg-scented powder floating in the air, obstructing my vision; it is the death of this day, the death of this season, in a last explosion of colours, before the cold darkness ensnare us all; a swan song; it is the noise and it is the silence. It is the apocalypse, and it is the calm before the storm; Après moi, le déluge.
They say our most faithful memories are the smells. I say my best memories are the sounds. They surround me all the time, they never go unnoticed. Ils sont les terminaisons nerveuses de mon âme, les sons qui font vibrer ces cordes vers le centre du plaisir. Like a plant, I feel the frequency in my roots, I need it to grow. Je la sens venir du tréfonds de l'univers.
written while listening to Death Level by Front Line Assembly.

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