Diario

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Oldest Living Human Being (excluding your mom, and Keith Richards.)

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Walken's snack of choice.

History Part I
Founder of all three monotheistic religions as well as agnosticism, and more cowbellism and the original prophet of the Church of Walkentology, Christopher Walken, whose name is an anagram for God, is the oldest living human being. Currently residing two kilometers below the Earth's crust, Walken lives in complete solitude. However, every three years, he surfaces to feed on discarded fetal tissue and appear in a feature film.

Walken has also entered into the Chuck Norris vs. Vin Diesel war, and has stabbed them both in the face with a fucking soldering iron. Both pussies cried.

History Part II

5,000 whore Years before Jesus Christ was stoned to death by jealous noobs, Walken began writing the first books of the holy shit. …